inspired by poem by Kate Light
There comes the strangest moment
in your life,
when you have spent
over half of your
budget and
you can’t make a return
or get a refund for the
things you wish
you didn’t buy,
the things that
don’t fit anymore,
the things that are
uncomfortable.
You can’t throw them away,
though you try,
they keep reappearing,
your mind will not let them
go
and keeps pulling them
out of the trash pile.
These things are soft, moldy,
faded like the
clementine hiding in the bottom
of the bowl,
white-powdered side down
so it’s a surprise
and a disappointment
when you reach in and find it,
inedible and rancid.
If you could only take back those things
you regret,
exchange them for what you know
now,
for how you would do things
differently.
My stomach lurches sometimes
when I review the faded, wrinkeld receipt
that lists all of these purchases.
I’m not just talking about
Mom Jeans and hairstyles,
drunken behaviors,
stupid mistakes,
but those words,
those feelings,
insecurities and
missteps.
I’d like to exchange those for
apologies,
kindnesses and
perspective that comes
from living over half of your
life.
I’d like to invest in
purchase protection
for what is to come
for surely, I will continue
to make mistakes
and wish I could
take it all back.
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